Chapter 1: First day of being a cannon fodder

“Lousy author, sooner or later you will suffer retribution!”

After sending out the final chapter and waiting for around half an hour to pass, Gu Yan refreshed the page and began reading the comments. Unsurprisingly, he had managed to garner a whole bunch of criticisms.

As a face-slapping novel author, the main reason why he got such terrible criticisms was because he had once again written his novel with a sh*t ending.

That’s right. Again.

Ever since bujian opened up to stallion novels[1], Gu Yan had signed on with them and thus walked down the dark road of novels with bad endings.

[1] [t/n: OP protagonist + Harem]

The reason why it is dark is simply because authors that write bad endings are destined to be blacklisted by readers. However, the reason why his novels are still extremely popular is because… apart from those disgusting endings, Gu Yan’s novels are always too. Damn. Good. To. Read!

As for why it is well-liked, that’s probably because it leaves readers with a good feeling.[2] Hence, readers often go ahead and read it anyway, deciding to not have any regrets for the sake of the coolness of his novel. In the end, every single time when they reach the terrible ending, they still explode in anger. While they scolded, “Trash author!”, they continued to endure and search for his other works.

[2] Enough face slapping probably

Once he walked down this road, he continued this way of life for the next 5 years. Without a single exception, every novel of his was with such terrible endings. In the end, this author who refused to change his ways finally suffered his retribution…

[Ding ding, system 037 binding complete. Initializing transfer…]

Gu Yan had originally wanted to take a quick look at the comments before going to bed. The moment he laid down, he heard a strange voice.

Gu Yan was sure that his ears had no problem so why did he suddenly start hearing things? He froze for a moment.


As an author, Gu Yan’s imagination is naturally very abundant and towards strange events, he had a certain degree of acceptance. Thus, he began finding a suitable answer in his mind.

Gu Yan did not have to guess long. System kindly gave him the answer.

[There are a large number of people with a very deep grudge against the host. Originally, these resentments were scattered without any problems. However, 37 minutes ago, they suddenly converged together for unknown reasons and became too strong to the point of even affecting the three worlds.]

Around half an hour ago? The corner of Gu Yan’s lips twitched. Wasn’t that when he had just uploaded the ending to his novel?

[In order to rectify the problem and reduce the extent of the impact, the system has calculated that the best solution is to allow the host, you, to take a personal trip to these worlds.] The system continues to explain.

“These worlds … Are you talking about the worlds in my novels?”. His mood changed too quickly and Gu Yan’s response to this stressful situation was a deadpan expression. Although the system did not say it clearly, from his speculations, it seemed to be the case.

[Yes, please be assured that the system will be responsible for the host’s personal safety in the current world.] The present world refers to Earth.

There are ghosts if I can rest assured!

“Can I refuse?” Sitting up straight, Gu Yan instinctively tried to fight for his rights.

Unexpectedly, the system gave a positive answer. After saying ‘Yes’: [The host can reject this best option and choose the second best scenario, that is to be eliminated by the system.]

Gu Yan: “……”

He had always been living well and did not want to die yet. Gu Yan, of course, chose that so-called best option. According to the system, he could return to Earth and continue his peaceful life after taking a trip to those worlds.

However, before that.

“Wait, wait, wait… You have to give me some time to send Qiuqiu to the pet shop.” Gu Yan referred to the cat that was lazing in his arms. Although he had no relatives to worry about, he still had this little cat.

“Me-ow.” “Hearing his name, the tabby cat lying in the youth’s embrace tilted its head and let out a small sound. Its pale and pretty eyes stared quietly at Gu Yan, seeming extremely docile.

The youth’s long slender fingers gently scratched the cat’s chin with extreme precision that causes it to feel utmost comfort.

[Host, please rest assure since you will be returned to this current point in time after you have completed the task.]

“OK then.” Finally accepting his fate, Gu Yan reluctantly touched Qiuqiu’s head and stroked the soft fur on the back of his cat.

The Silver Tiger tabby cat was already comfortably snoring softly in his arms, revealing its belly.

At the same time, the system’s reminder came.

[Initializing transfer, Counting down 3, 2……]

At the count of one, Gu Yan instantly lost consciousness.

[Transfer complete. I wish the host a pleasant stay.] In the end, the system even added in a smiley face.

The entire transfer process happened in a blink of an eye to Gu Yan and just as he opened his eyes, he found himself face to face with a pair of dark green eyes.

Gu Yan: “……”

The distance between them was neither near nor far, about a meter at most. The pair of eyes belonged to a large cat-like beast whose body was even bigger than that of a Siberian tiger. Its pupils had already narrowed into thin slits as if looking at a prey. It lowered its body, sending a low, threatening sound.

Having just been transferred to this world, Gu Yan’s head was still spinning. However, being stared by such a large predator caused a sense of fear to rise within him, instantly waking him up.

Wait, wait…. what?

In the dark and cold cave, there was a large beast with severe abdominal injuries as well as an unconscious person waiting to become the beast’s food…

Although Gu Yan had written many long passages, he had not forgotten any of those he had written. For example, this. Simply relying on three hints, he immediately knew which part of the story he was in.

This was one of the earliest novels he had written. The large cat-like beast in front of him was created in order to aid the tragic ending caused by the villain boss. In this novel(qi ji), the celestial beast race, Heidis, was usually in its human form. However, it was currently in its beast form due to the heavy injuries it had sustained.

As for him, he was currently in this body that couldn’t even be considered cannon fodder.

Gu Yan stiffened his body and turned to stare at the large beast that was less than a meter away, not daring to take his eyes away. There was no doubt that as long as he made even the slightest shiver, the beast that was more than three times his size would instantly rip out his throat.

Gu Yan could still remember very clearly, at that time he had been happily using hundreds of flowery words to describe this cannon fodder’s tragic death. How his neck had been bitten off, rolled to one side and even his bones had been chewed out with a [Kachack] sound. How its sharp teeth had cut open his belly …

Oh, God.

He had never expected to be caught in this situation but it was already too late to cry for his end had come. Seeing the beast coming towards him, his pupils contracted.

Normally, he would already have dodged but under such circumstances, his body had become sluggish and could not respond in time.

In less than a second, Gu Yan’s perspective was suddenly thrown upside down. At the same time, his back was slammed harshly onto the uneven ground, causing him to feel extreme pain.

Other than the word ‘pain’, Gu Yan couldn’t find a better word to describe what he felt. However being pressed by that huge beast, the fact that his bones weren’t already shattered were itself a miracle…

He found the reason very quickly. Gu Yan glanced at his left wrist that had a micro-defense device which had already been activated. A miniature shield that was barely visible to the naked eye clung to his body. This kind of defensive item, the most expensive of which can even block the attack of a particle cannon…

However, this was a one-time consumable item.

If he were to be attacked once more, Gu Yan knew his little life would be forfeited. Taking advantage of the time the beast’s fangs took to bite down on his throat, he recalled the role of this beast.

While the shield had not completely deactivated, Gu Yan quickly stretched out his hand to rubbed the beast’s jaw.

…… For 0.001 seconds, the big cat froze as if somebody had hit the ‘pause’ button.

Its vertical pupils suddenly narrowed even further as its green eyes stared intently at its prey beneath it. It was unclear as to what reason but the beast suddenly let out a low sound.

Anyway, it did not attack the ‘prey’ that had been caught.

Having protected his neck, Gu Yan unconsciously shivered, forcing himself to calm down and continued stroking the beast’s jaw.

When Gu Yan had been describing this villain boss, Qiuqiu had been at his side pacing up and down trying to get his attention. Unknowingly, his thoughts had become filled with his cat.

According to his usual way of stroking qiuqiu, Gu Yan used one hand to scratch its jaws while the other was placed on its head.

The beast moved slightly, its deep green vertical pupil stared directly at Gu Yan’s outstretched hand as it let out another sound.

The human spirit was extremely tempting to this beast, especially since it had been weakened and needed energy to supplement itself.

This food smelled extremely tasty but it was now reluctant to take a bite. Especially when the young man reaches out to scratch its jaw, it finds that it cannot resist.

Hearing a sound, Gu Yan’s movements paused as he wondered whether he should retract his hand first.

However, after a few seconds, the beast turned back to stare at him, waiting.

After rearing a cat for so many years, Gu Yan knows the beast in front of him wasn’t resisting. Hence, he continued to rub the beast’s head quietly.

Soon, Gu Yan was stroking it with familiarity.

“Huuu…”. It was clear that the beast was extremely comfortable.

Gu Yan conscientiously continued to work, after all, this concerned his own small life. This beast did not make any move to let him go, neither did it advance its attacks. Under Gu Yan’s stroking, it simply lowered its head slowly.

By chance, it seemed…

A little tame.

TOC | Next Chapter

Author: dummytranslations

Translator at dummytranslations. Unprofessional cause I'm complete rubbish at Chi. 50% MTL 50% gibberish. Bringing joy to fujoshis(ME) and cat lovers(also Me). You're welcome. Feel free to contact me at for questions/discussion about cats/etc

26 thoughts on “TPWSTKMAFFMI Chapter 1”

  1. I’m so happy you’ve picked this up! It was on my list of “what to pick up if somehow someone hasn’t picked it up when, by some miracle, I finish my current project”. So so pleased to cross it off the list.
    And what a great start. Gruesome death avoided by kitty petting. Look out MC!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This! THIS! Ahh this novel is one of the few that I actually began MTL-ing! I’m so happy this is finally being translated even though the author is like -secret cuz it’s a spoiler (sorta)- in the first arc. ( ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

    Besides that point; I really like this novel, so thank you very much for your hard work on this novel! I shall be waiting for the ‘punched in the heart’ feeling from this novel~ ( ⸝⸝⸝•⌄•⸝⸝⸝ )♡

    Liked by 1 person

  3. 😂😂 😂😂 😂😂 😂😂
    Thanks for picking up this story. It is just what I needed in this rainy day, a good laugh…
    The Petting Technique, fool proof method to tame cat monsters… Please tell me the rest of the story is just as hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Retribution to the authors of tragic stories with tragic endings. 😀 Just kidding. Thanks for picking this up. It’s quite funny. Will be waiting for more. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I felt like re-reading from the beginning and just realised it’s been almost a year since this chapter was translated wow!

    Thank you so much for all your hard work translating this novel, it’s one of my favourites to read! 💕💕

    Liked by 1 person

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