Proofreader: Vivi & Foreverhungry 🙂
Yue Lao was miserable. He felt like his pure imp-like soul had been tainted by the little Flower God, “You want to top the Emperor?”
“No,” the little Flower God corrected, “ I want to be topped by him.”
Yue Lao, “……Don’t call me godfather anymore. I need to calm down.”
“Too late.” Little Flower God revealed an innocent smile. He ran with a bounce in his steps to the Flower God who brought tea over and took the teapot and tea. “Dad, I want to stay in Yue Lao’s home for a few days.”
The Flower God felt that it was strange, “It takes only two hours to fly from our home to there. Why do you need to stay with him?”
Little Flower God had his back facing Yue Lao and lowered his voice, “Grandpa Yue Lao has been too angered by the Emperor and was just complaining to me in tears. He is old and has no one to take care of him. I’m going to accompany him for a few days and talk to him.”
Yue Lao saw the Flower God showing a very worried look, but he still eventually nodded and followed the little Flower God over to him, “You don’t have to worry too much about the matters of the Emperor. It just happens that it will soon be the season for flowers to bloom in the human world. I have to make arrangements for the flower season and will not return home this month. It’s fine for my son to stay with you.”
Yue Lao’s brain froze: Stay with me?
His body stiffened as he watched the little Flower God intimately step forward and grab his arm, “Godfather, I’ll sleep with you tonight.”
Sleeping with Yue Lao was impossible because the little Flower God slipped away in the middle of the night.
Yue Lao persistently held his sleeve, “Zhenyun, if you go like this, the Emperor will not even let you pass through his door.”
“Who said I was going to use the entrance?” The Little Flower God asked in surprise, “Of course, I’m going to sneak in.”
Yue Lao expressionlessly let him go.
This child is too wild for me to control.
Old Flower, I’m sorry.
Yue Lao decided to go into seclusion so that he would suffer less when the plot came to light.
Liu Zhenyun, the little Flower God, flew outside the Emperor’s palace and crouched on a tree.
He gnawed on a peach as he examined the terrain. The palace was silent and surrounded by bamboos trees on all four sides. Further away was the endless mountain range. There were no neighbours nor servants inside either. As expected, it was exactly as the legends said; The Emperor indeed liked to live alone.
After finishing the peach, Liu Zhenyun threw the peach core into the palace and took another one to continue gnawing. He ate three peaches in a row and did the same to all three of them.
The Emperor had been reading in the room. He did not get angry when he heard the sound of peach cores rhythmically being thrown outside the palace, and instead, went out to look at the tree. He saw a white-clothed young man squatting above and looking at him, even waving his hand merrily.
The Emperor took out a broom to sweep the peach cores and went back into the house.
Liu Zhenyun touched his chin. It was indeed as the rumours said, the Emperor was obsessed with cleanliness and did not like to concern himself with other people.
Liu Zhenyun stood up and took out 500 grams of butter melon seeds and a large sack of sesame seeds from his backpack.
Melon seeds rained outside the Emperor’s room. Not long after, sesame seeds also rained down.
This was truly something even saints couldn’t endure. Bai Shi rubbed his brows in annoyance and leapt out, then dragged Liu Zhenyun back into the palace, “Why are you making trouble here?”
Liu Zhenyun materialized a big bunch of roses and gave them to him.
“???” Bai Shi was baffled, “What are you doing?”
That’s right. Our little Flower God intended to play straight ball.
The little Flower God’s thoughts were like this: Bai Shi is over a thousand years old, why is he still single? Obviously, because he has low EQ and is a big, straight man.
It was very difficult for a straight man to be enlightened. Even if he waited another 1000 years, he might not understand still, so the little Flower God decided to be direct.
It was Bai Shi’s first time meeting such a frank person and he did not know whether to laugh or cry, “Do you know who I am?”
“I know. You’re the Emperor.” Liu Zhenyun pursed his lips, “I’m the little Flower God, you can call me Liu Zhenyun.”
Bai Shi rubbed his head, “You aren’t afraid of me?”
“Why should I be afraid of you? It’s not like you’re ugly.” Liu Zhenyun made a ring out of the roses, “Here, for you.”
Bai Shi did not accept it, “I am not planning to marry a wife.”
“It doesn’t matter, you can get married to me.”
“…” Bai Shi was speechless, “I am not planning to get married to you either.”
Liu Zhenyun deliberated for a moment and said with awe-inspiring righteousness (and shamelessness), “If you want me to follow you without a title, that’s alright too. You can’t back out!”
Bai Shi changed the topic, “…I watched your father grow up and in a blink of an eye, you are already so big. It is a pity, I have not gone out much recently. I haven’t even drunk at your birthday banquets.”
“That’s right,” Liu Zhenyun complained, “I hung your picture on my wall and worshipped it every day. With such sincerity, I thought you would come to my home.”
Bai Shi, “Is it black and white or coloured?”
“The picture you hung, is it black and white or coloured?”
“It’s in colour, of course.” Liu Zhenyun said, “I’m not stupid.”
Not only was Liu Zhenyun not stupid, but he was also very thick-skinned. After using a magic technique to clear up the ground, he refused to leave, and insisted, “My dad is away. I’m scared to stay all by myself.”
Bai Shi, “There is no guest room.”
“Who wants a guest room?” Liu Zhenyun put his hands behind his back and raised his head to look at Bai Shi, “I’m here to woo you, so of course I’m going to sleep with you.”
Bai Shi: …
“I saw it while I was on the tree. The bed in the bedroom is really big, I like it.”
Liu Zhenyun felt like the rumours were simply too true. The Emperor’s face seemed like it was made of steel, it was frozen the whole time they spoke.
打算，打直球(straight ball): I googled it and was not expecting it, but basically it means for the little flower god to directly xx the emperor. But since they’re taking it slow, it can also mean to be more direct and confessing to him straight away