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TPWSTKMAFFMI Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Extremely delicious


 

Tired of stroking the beast’s fur, Gu Yan looked at it quietly. Its head was lowered such that it didn’t seem as aggressive as before and hence he tried to move his body.

 

“…… It’s very uncomfortable. “Being stared at by the pair of vertical pupils, Gu Yan forced himself to stay expressionless. There was no other way since he was extremely nervous. Usually, even when he runs into trouble, his facial expression would still remain calm. However, once he gets nervous, his expression becomes distorted.

 

His body was being pressed down by hundreds of kilograms, naturally it would be uncomfortable. Thankfully at the time when he had been designing the human race’s physique, it hadn’t been too bad, if not he might already have stopped breathing.

 

Although this was the case, Gu Yan hadn’t been expecting the beast to understand his words.

 

It actually understood?

 

The weight on his body lifted, Gu Yan was surprised and quickly sat up. Then he turned his head once more to look at the beast.

 

Its head was cocked to one side. He had seen his cat doing this before when asking for a reward. If he was not wrong, the beast in front of him was doing the same thing.

 

“Good boy…” reached out to pet its head. Feeling a sense of familiarity, Gu Yan inexplicably calmed down..

 

At the same time, Gu Yan felt a strange feeling because the villain boss in front of him and his original character settings were different.. At present, the huge beast even gave him a certain sense of innocence.

 

However, it was absolutely great that it was different from the original tragedy that the cannon fodder was supposed to face. Thinking of how he had written the final boss as a cold-blooded killing machine, Gu Yan’s eyes twitched incessantly.

 

Different was really great!

 

Free to move, Gu Yan took a look at the bleeding wounds on the beast. In addition to its abdomen, there were varying degrees of injuries on its body everywhere.

 

The Heidis race is the strongest race he has set in this novel. For an adult Heidis to be injured to this degree, if it were other races, they would definitely have already died on the spot.

 

Heidis can recover quickly by eating. Although the big cat currently did not seem to want to eat him, Gu Yan still had a feeling of being kept as emergency rations.

 

Gu Yan remembered at that time when he was writing this novel, in order to spice up the ending, he even decisively added in…

 

That mankind was the most delicious delicacy for Heidis.

 

Facing the adult Heidis as a human, Gu Yan wanted to scold himself upside down.

 

He decided to think of a way to help this beast treat its wounds. Firstly, it was to try to change its mindset of wanting to eat him and secondly…

 

Gu Yan once again looked into the pair of eyes and realized that it was actually really pretty. The beast silently watched him with utmost attention and tilted its head sideways.

 

Every move was similar to his own cat, it was almost exactly the same. In this completely unfamiliar world, it was hard for Gu Yan to not to have any feelings for this beast.

 

Gu Yan carefully examined what he had been carrying, looking for something that might come in handy. He did not specify the status of this cannon fodder but looking at this body carrying a variety of high-grade goods, he could tell that his identity was not low.

 

The silver ring on the right hand was a spacial dimension. Although the things in his space were a complete mess, Gu Yan could still see food with a single glance. Moreover, he seemed to have found some sort of healing device.

 

The things that he wrote about, he naturally knew how to use. With one hand, he held the healing device like a flashlight and looked into beast’s eye that was still staring at him before shaking the device.  Unconsciously, he used the tone that he usually used to coax his own cat: “Good boy, stay still a little. This will help to heal your injuries.”

 

It was a very gentle tone, extremely soothing. The Adult Heidis did not answer, but it still straightened its head.** Not sure when it happened, but the gleam in its eyes dimmed a little as it continued staring straight at him.

 

It seemed to like the dark-haired youth in front speaking to it in such a tone. This sort of feeling seemed to have been carved in his very soul, as if it could not resist the youth’s touch.

 

There was a round button at the bottom of the device and after pressing it, Gu Yan shined the light onto the beast’s wound. Because it was something portable, its scope of repair was limited and he had to continuously rotate it everywhere. The healing speed was also very slow; originally this kind of portable device was only used to deal with minor injuries.

 

“Stay still.” Gu Yan was so focused on analyzing its injuries that he forget the situation he was in and treated the adult Heidis as his own cat … Just like when qiuqiu was naughty, he would pat its head and use a low tone with a hint of severity..

 

Of course, after patting it, Gu Yan finally realized his mistake and froze.

 

Uh …

 

“Me-ow.” It let out a low sound and rubbed its head on the young man’s left shoulder.

 

Eh?

 

The beast’s unexpected reaction caused Gu Yan to freeze once more for a long while. This kind of action, if he was not wrong was the beast’s way of … admitting its wrong and acting coy.

 

Therefore, the title of a cold-blooded killing machine was completely destroyed by it.

 

This destruction was good, in the heart Gu Yan silently added a sentence.

 

The most serious wound was at its abdomen while the rest of the minor injuries were almost healed. Gu Yan saw a very obedient beast lying motionlessly and quietly and rewardingly touched the other side of its head: “Now, lie down.” ”

 

Gu Yan was not sure whether it would follow his request. This Heidis beast was a prototype and was slightly different from the others. While each Heidis will have the same advantages and weaknesses, this villain boss prototype was created with a 50% similarity to his own cat and therefore one of its greatest weakness was – its belly.

 

That was why Gu Yan chose to treat the other wounds first, in order to allow the beast to lower its defenses further..

 

The adult Heidis stared at the moving hand while its throat continued to produce a low hum. Why did he stop patting its head.

 

The next second, Gu Yan saw the big cat in front of him tilt his head.

 

Gu Yan: “…”

 

Does this mean the beast wants to be patted before it can lie down…

 

Struggling for a moment, Gu Yan still stretched out his hand, his mood extremely complex as he touched the head of the big cat.

 

Having attained what it wanted, to be patted, the adult Heidi seemed extremely docile. If this scene was seen by his subordinates, he was sure they would suspect that there was something wrong with their own eyes.

 

The wound on its abdomen was extremely deep and there was even some festering already. Even though the healing device had already used its maximum ability, it was still unable to fully treat the wound. Thankfully, the Heidis race had powerful self-healing ability. Its wounds had already been treated to an extent that it was estimated that in another few days, it should be able to recover by itself.

 

Gu Yan took out a piece of meat from his space for the beast. He had a feeling that this amount of meat was barely enough to squeeze through the cracks of this beast’s teeth.

 

“For you.” He realized the beast had lowered its head to stare at the food. Immediately, it raised its head to look at him again causing Gu Yan to smile a little.

 

This black-haired youth was using the standard Heidis language. Although the shape of the beast looked a lot like a large cat, but this adult Heidis naturally was able to understand him.

 

It was indeed hungry. Hunger was a natural instinct, especially when a Heidis is injured, this instinct will become even stronger. But the curve of the young’s lips seemed to have had a fatal attraction that made it unable to take away its gaze.

 

An attraction that was even deeper than instincts.

 

While being watched by the beast, Gu Yan a took out a bottle from his space. One spray  and the results were immediate; all the filth were instantly gone.

 

After cleaning up the blood that had gotten onto his body, Gu Yan patted the beast’s head soothingly, assuring it as he sprayed it onto its soft fur. Without the bloodstains, the beautiful silver tiger spots on its fur could be seen..

 

This looks more and more like his cat at home, he unconsciously thought.

 

“If the body is a little smaller …” He murmured. Suddenly he regained his senses and he found himself in front of an adult Heidis that looked almost exactly like his cat.

 

This was cat was slightly bigger than a typical domestic cat. After fulfilling the youth’s wishes, the big cat tilted his head and quietly looking at the black-haired youth.  In its current body, it looked even more obedient.

 

“Qiuqiu… “In the end, Gu Yan could not resist calling out this name. He reached out his two hands to the big cat, wanting to hug it.

 

The youth was looking at it, so the ‘ qiuqiu ‘ was probably referring to it. The adult Heidis quickly came to this conclusion as it made a low sound and then arched itself into the youth’s bosom.

 

For a moment, Gu Yan’s mood relaxes a little. It wasn’t that it was out of the kindness of his heart, just that the difference in strength between them was too great. If the beast wanted to do anything to him, he had completely no way of resisting.

 

Moreover, holding the quiet cat, it seemed to be quite obedient…

 

Before he was forced to transmigrate into this novel, Gu Yan had already been lying in bed, getting ready to sleep. After taking a stroll outside hell’s gate, Gu Yan was utterly exhausted

 

The ground was very hard.  For Gu Yan who was accustomed to sleeping on a soft bed it was very hard to adapt. However, in this situation he had no choice but to calmly accept it. Hugging the big cat closer, Gu Yan laid down and instantly fell asleep. He was really too tired, be it physically or psychologically.

 

The cave was cold and the cat in his arms was the only source of heat. Hence, the sleeping Gu Yan hugged the big cat even more tightly.

 

The Heidis in his arms was still awake; its light colored pupils were focused on youth’s clean face.

 

Surrounded by a pleasant smell, there was a strong sense of temptation. The adult Heidis looked at youth’s pale white neck for a while, then gently licked the area of skin above the pale cyan blood vessels.

 

It was extremely delicious.


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TPWSTKMAFFMI Chapter 1

Chapter 1: First day of being a cannon fodder


“Lousy author, sooner or later you will suffer retribution!”

After sending out the final chapter and waiting for around half an hour to pass, Gu Yan refreshed the page and began reading the comments. Unsurprisingly, he had managed to garner a whole bunch of criticisms.

As a face-slapping novel author, the main reason why he got such terrible criticisms was because he had once again written his novel with a sh*t ending.

That’s right. Again.

Ever since bujian opened up to stallion novels[1], Gu Yan had signed on with them and thus walked down the dark road of novels with bad endings.

[1] [t/n: OP protagonist + Harem]

The reason why it is dark is simply because authors that write bad endings are destined to be blacklisted by readers. However, the reason why his novels are still extremely popular is because… apart from those disgusting endings, Gu Yan’s novels are always too. Damn. Good. To. Read!

As for why it is well-liked, that’s probably because it leaves readers with a good feeling.[2] Hence, readers often go ahead and read it anyway, deciding to not have any regrets for the sake of the coolness of his novel. In the end, every single time when they reach the terrible ending, they still explode in anger. While they scolded, “Trash author!”, they continued to endure and search for his other works.

[2] Enough face slapping probably

Once he walked down this road, he continued this way of life for the next 5 years. Without a single exception, every novel of his was with such terrible endings. In the end, this author who refused to change his ways finally suffered his retribution…

[Ding ding, system 037 binding complete. Initializing transfer…]

Gu Yan had originally wanted to take a quick look at the comments before going to bed. The moment he laid down, he heard a strange voice.

Gu Yan was sure that his ears had no problem so why did he suddenly start hearing things? He froze for a moment.

Ah?

As an author, Gu Yan’s imagination is naturally very abundant and towards strange events, he had a certain degree of acceptance. Thus, he began finding a suitable answer in his mind.

Gu Yan did not have to guess long. System kindly gave him the answer.

[There are a large number of people with a very deep grudge against the host. Originally, these resentments were scattered without any problems. However, 37 minutes ago, they suddenly converged together for unknown reasons and became too strong to the point of even affecting the three worlds.]

Around half an hour ago? The corner of Gu Yan’s lips twitched. Wasn’t that when he had just uploaded the ending to his novel?

[In order to rectify the problem and reduce the extent of the impact, the system has calculated that the best solution is to allow the host, you, to take a personal trip to these worlds.] The system continues to explain.

“These worlds … Are you talking about the worlds in my novels?”. His mood changed too quickly and Gu Yan’s response to this stressful situation was a deadpan expression. Although the system did not say it clearly, from his speculations, it seemed to be the case.

[Yes, please be assured that the system will be responsible for the host’s personal safety in the current world.] The present world refers to Earth.

There are ghosts if I can rest assured!

“Can I refuse?” Sitting up straight, Gu Yan instinctively tried to fight for his rights.

Unexpectedly, the system gave a positive answer. After saying ‘Yes’: [The host can reject this best option and choose the second best scenario, that is to be eliminated by the system.]

Gu Yan: “……”

He had always been living well and did not want to die yet. Gu Yan, of course, chose that so-called best option. According to the system, he could return to Earth and continue his peaceful life after taking a trip to those worlds.

However, before that.

“Wait, wait, wait… You have to give me some time to send Qiuqiu to the pet shop.” Gu Yan referred to the cat that was lazing in his arms. Although he had no relatives to worry about, he still had this little cat.

“Me-ow.” “Hearing his name, the tabby cat lying in the youth’s embrace tilted its head and let out a small sound. Its pale and pretty eyes stared quietly at Gu Yan, seeming extremely docile.

The youth’s long slender fingers gently scratched the cat’s chin with extreme precision that causes it to feel utmost comfort.

[Host, please rest assure since you will be returned to this current point in time after you have completed the task.]

“OK then.” Finally accepting his fate, Gu Yan reluctantly touched Qiuqiu’s head and stroked the soft fur on the back of his cat.

The Silver Tiger tabby cat was already comfortably snoring softly in his arms, revealing its belly.

At the same time, the system’s reminder came.

[Initializing transfer, Counting down 3, 2……]

At the count of one, Gu Yan instantly lost consciousness.

[Transfer complete. I wish the host a pleasant stay.] In the end, the system even added in a smiley face.

The entire transfer process happened in a blink of an eye to Gu Yan and just as he opened his eyes, he found himself face to face with a pair of dark green eyes.

Gu Yan: “……”

The distance between them was neither near nor far, about a meter at most. The pair of eyes belonged to a large cat-like beast whose body was even bigger than that of a Siberian tiger. Its pupils had already narrowed into thin slits as if looking at a prey. It lowered its body, sending a low, threatening sound.

Having just been transferred to this world, Gu Yan’s head was still spinning. However, being stared by such a large predator caused a sense of fear to rise within him, instantly waking him up.

Wait, wait…. what?

In the dark and cold cave, there was a large beast with severe abdominal injuries as well as an unconscious person waiting to become the beast’s food…

Although Gu Yan had written many long passages, he had not forgotten any of those he had written. For example, this. Simply relying on three hints, he immediately knew which part of the story he was in.

This was one of the earliest novels he had written. The large cat-like beast in front of him was created in order to aid the tragic ending caused by the villain boss. In this novel(qi ji), the celestial beast race, Heidis, was usually in its human form. However, it was currently in its beast form due to the heavy injuries it had sustained.

As for him, he was currently in this body that couldn’t even be considered cannon fodder.

Gu Yan stiffened his body and turned to stare at the large beast that was less than a meter away, not daring to take his eyes away. There was no doubt that as long as he made even the slightest shiver, the beast that was more than three times his size would instantly rip out his throat.

Gu Yan could still remember very clearly, at that time he had been happily using hundreds of flowery words to describe this cannon fodder’s tragic death. How his neck had been bitten off, rolled to one side and even his bones had been chewed out with a [Kachack] sound. How its sharp teeth had cut open his belly …

Oh, God.

He had never expected to be caught in this situation but it was already too late to cry for his end had come. Seeing the beast coming towards him, his pupils contracted.

Normally, he would already have dodged but under such circumstances, his body had become sluggish and could not respond in time.

In less than a second, Gu Yan’s perspective was suddenly thrown upside down. At the same time, his back was slammed harshly onto the uneven ground, causing him to feel extreme pain.

Other than the word ‘pain’, Gu Yan couldn’t find a better word to describe what he felt. However being pressed by that huge beast, the fact that his bones weren’t already shattered were itself a miracle…

He found the reason very quickly. Gu Yan glanced at his left wrist that had a micro-defense device which had already been activated. A miniature shield that was barely visible to the naked eye clung to his body. This kind of defensive item, the most expensive of which can even block the attack of a particle cannon…

However, this was a one-time consumable item.

If he were to be attacked once more, Gu Yan knew his little life would be forfeited. Taking advantage of the time the beast’s fangs took to bite down on his throat, he recalled the role of this beast.

While the shield had not completely deactivated, Gu Yan quickly stretched out his hand to rubbed the beast’s jaw.

…… For 0.001 seconds, the big cat froze as if somebody had hit the ‘pause’ button.

Its vertical pupils suddenly narrowed even further as its green eyes stared intently at its prey beneath it. It was unclear as to what reason but the beast suddenly let out a low sound.

Anyway, it did not attack the ‘prey’ that had been caught.

Having protected his neck, Gu Yan unconsciously shivered, forcing himself to calm down and continued stroking the beast’s jaw.

When Gu Yan had been describing this villain boss, Qiuqiu had been at his side pacing up and down trying to get his attention. Unknowingly, his thoughts had become filled with his cat.

According to his usual way of stroking qiuqiu, Gu Yan used one hand to scratch its jaws while the other was placed on its head.

The beast moved slightly, its deep green vertical pupil stared directly at Gu Yan’s outstretched hand as it let out another sound.

The human spirit was extremely tempting to this beast, especially since it had been weakened and needed energy to supplement itself.

This food smelled extremely tasty but it was now reluctant to take a bite. Especially when the young man reaches out to scratch its jaw, it finds that it cannot resist.

Hearing a sound, Gu Yan’s movements paused as he wondered whether he should retract his hand first.

However, after a few seconds, the beast turned back to stare at him, waiting.

After rearing a cat for so many years, Gu Yan knows the beast in front of him wasn’t resisting. Hence, he continued to rub the beast’s head quietly.

Soon, Gu Yan was stroking it with familiarity.

“Huuu…”. It was clear that the beast was extremely comfortable.

Gu Yan conscientiously continued to work, after all, this concerned his own small life. This beast did not make any move to let him go, neither did it advance its attacks. Under Gu Yan’s stroking, it simply lowered its head slowly.

By chance, it seemed…

A little tame.


TOC | Next Chapter

TDWCTDC Chapter 5

You can read this at http://www.dummytranslations.wordpress.com

11

The two men stood outside the Dragon Castle, griping for a while. Their loving bicker was in full swing as if they wanted to make up for the lost time. As though Carter had taken the wrong medicine, he made a ring from flowers for Asa. Asa also seemed to have taken the wrong medicine, putting on the ring with a red face.

Love is like a dose of wrong medicine.

Asa admired the ring on his finger and said regretfully: “Although this is the first ring you give me, it’s a pity it cannot last.”

Carter gently waved his wand: “Petrification.”

The flower ring turned into a stone ring.

Asa looked at him with a complicated gaze: “… It’s petrification again?”

Carter put his arm over Asa’s shoulder: “The last time I used this spell was when we kissed for the first time.”

Asa was filled with resentment: “It was also the first time I called you daddy.”

Carter: “You still remember.”

Asa rolled his eyes: “I still remember you forced me to do a striptease for you.”

Carter smirked: “Your dance sucks.”

Asa: “Nobody told you to watch!”

Carter: “Even if you don’t move, I will still only look at you.”

Asa summoned up his courage and said, “In the past, I … I also used to peek at you.”

Carter smiled and pinched his hand: “I know, but as soon as I look back at you, you will turn away.”

Asa blushed and hit his chest: “That’s because I was embarrassed!”

Carter grabbed Asa’s wrist with a troubled expression: “Your strength is too scary, you’re not allowed to hit me.”

Asa embarrassedly explained: “I’m trying to act cute.”

Carter said expressionlessly: “Then you’re not allowed to act cute.”

12

At this time, Lay’s voice floated from behind them: “You guys haven’t left yet?”

Carter glanced at his pocket watch: “Your Highness, you are really fast.”

Black lines appeared on Lay’s forehead: “… Lately, we’ve done it too many times.”

Carter created a portal with a wave of his wand: “Your Highness, in the end, I think you should still go back.”

Lay narrowed his eyes at Carter and Asa: “So after you two get together, you don’t care about my life and death anymore?”

Carter’s face remained resolute: “What are you talking about, the Elf King is worried about you.”

Lay crossed his arms: “If I go back, what about Golan?”

Carter: “Bring him back and marry him.”

“Are you crazy?” Lay cried. “I am the sole heir to the throne!”

Carter waved his hand leisurely: “Exactly, because you are the only heir to the throne, you cannot be irresponsible and hide in the Lost continent with your lover.”

Lay: “Father will not approve of Golan.”

Carter: “Why wouldn’t he approve? Although the Golan is male, he can still lay eggs. The royal lineage can still be continued.”

Lay’s handsome face revealed a rare trace of embarrassment: “… Do you think this is just a problem of whether he can lay eggs or not?”

Carter gestured to the portal: “I actually do think that’s the problem. Your Highness, please.”

Suddenly, Golan emerged from behind him without warning, happily pushing Lay towards the portal! While pushing, he shouted: “For the sake of my black and white striped dragon eggs, you should go back obediently you perverted prince!”

Trying to regain his balance, Lay shouted, “Don’t even dream about leaving me!”

So the very next second, poor little Golan was grabbed by the falling Lay and fell into his embrace. The two hugged each other and disappeared into the portal.

Carter and Asa stared dumbly at each other for three seconds.

Asa was speechless: “What were the two of them playing at?”

Carter shrugged his shoulders and quickly said: “Maybe they’re acting out the play where the lover wants to leave his boyfriend. There are some people who actually have this sort of fetish before they can pa pa pa[1]. Isn’t it interesting, shall we try it too?”

[1]Use your imagination.

Asa listened until beads of sweat formed on his forehead and dumbly made a sound.

Carter took the opportunity and said: “Then you can dress up as a cat-ear maid.”

Asa was stunned: “What are you talking about? What cat-eared maid?”

Carter shamelessly said: “It’s a deal.”

Without waiting for Asa to react, Carter took his hand and pulled him into the portal.

13

At the Elf Castle.

The Elf King looked at the two pairs of men with anguish from his throne. There was a strong desire to strangle them.

Carter finished his recount, bowed deeply to the Elf King and stressed again: “The Dragon clan can lay eggs, your Majesty.”

Lay happily opened his arms and asked, “Father, do you want to see a fire-breathing elf baby? Wouldn’t it be cool?”

The Elf King was emphatic: “No.”

Lay: “… How am I supposed to answer that?”

The Elf King snorted.

“So father refuses to accept him?” Lay frowned.

Golan quietly drew a cross in his heart: “Bless me, Dragon God. Please don’t let the Elf King accept me.”

Lay hurriedly covered Golan’s mouth.

The Elf king covered his ears and shook his head: “I won’t accept this no matter what, I don’t want to listen to your explanation!”

No one explained, however, Carter suddenly made a decision to open a portal leading to the Lost Continent, allowing everyone to elope.

The Elf King was stunned: “Get back here!”

14

Hence, one month later, the Elf Prince was married.

His wife was a cute and handsome youth from the dragon clan. It was rumored that on the wedding day, the prince’s wife was so touched that he cried himself hoarse.

Such was a beautiful love that could overcome boundaries!

The women folk of the Elven Kingdom were extremely moved by the Prince’s love. At the same time, countless certain small pornography books were madly being circulated around.

On this day, in the bedroom, Lay was reading the little yellow book while Golan was happily eating sweets, occasionally burping and releasing a small flame.

Lay looked at the little yellow book then looked at Golan.

Sensing something amiss, Golan warily grabbed his cookies and fled.

However, just as he managed to run a few steps away, he was dragged back to bed and forced to recite the contents of the little porn book from start to end.

The poor little Dragon wept and sobbed, “Oh, your Highness, your ***[2] is really huge… What the hell is this?”

[2]It was written as 巨无霸 but after translating, it says Big Mac… But it’s probably referring to his *cough*

Lay: “Go on, be good.”

Golan burst into tears: “I heard that with you, I can only lay white and green dragon eggs.”

Lay said thoughtfully: “Yes, green symbolizes elves’ energy.”

Golan cried: “But white and green is a disgusting combination!”

“How can you say our baby is disgusting?” Lay snapped and beat his buttocks mercilessly.

Golan kept crying: “I don’t care, I don’t want to lay white and green eggs, you’re not allowed to…”

Lay: “Ah, too late.”

Golan quickly tried to crawl away with his hands and feet: “Ah ah ah ah ah!”

Lay grabbed his ankle, threw the book aside, and pulled out another book from under the pillow. He said expressionlessly: “This chapter has 10 sections, let’s work hard a little and strive to finish everything in one go. Tomorrow, there is another chapter to learn … Baby, why you running? Look at your study attitude, I’m really worried for you!”

15

At this moment, Carter and Asa stood side by side at the highest level of the Mage Tower.

The mage tower was as high as the clouds and had a beautiful scenery. Anyone standing here will be able to see almost half of the elf kingdom and the magnificent Elf Palace looked like a dazzling emerald in the distance. The castle stood amidst the elves’ tree houses and brightly colored flowers whose petals fluttered gently in the wind. In the Elf kingdom, spring and summer were the most beautiful times of the year when the skies were an azure blue. Overhead, a snow white owl soared freely, breaking the tranquility of the moment and flew towards Carter who had extended an arm.

Carter took off a red gift box that was tied to it and muttered: “So slow, next time I’m going to let the seller exchange for a faster courier.”

The owl hooted twice in displeasure and quickly crapped on Carter’s mage robes.

Carter: …

Asa quickly grabbed the white owl that was trying to escape: “Look! I caught it!”

Carter shook his head: “Let it go, I will definitely lodge a complaint.”

The petty owl was indignant and also crapped on Asa.

Asa shouted and let go: “Where does he get so much shit from!”

Carter smiled: “Maybe it has a second belly.”

Asa sighed and turned to stare curiously at the red gift box in Carter’s hand, “What’s that?”

Carter smiled mysteriously: “Cat-eared maid uniform, you promised.”

Asa had long forgotten, “what Cat-ear maid?”

Carter helplessly shook the box in his hand and turned to descend the Mage Tower: “You will know after our wedding ceremony next month.”

Asa refused to let him off, “Tell me! Tell me, tell me now! Tell me!”

Carter impatiently turned around and pressed Asa against the wall, fiercely sealing his lips.

Just like that time when Carter was ten years old, and Asa was nine.

The two of them had secretly ran to the top of the Mage Tower. Not sure who was it who had suddenly asked what kissing felt like, but the two elves were as frightened and curious as two small animals as they kissed until the Master of the Mage tower yelled and separated them.

These two children with bad tempers were unwilling to reveal their feelings.

Although it has been years since it happened, this kiss was still as sweet and beautiful as it was back then. There was a certain touch of warmth each time and it was as if it brought about a kind of mysterious and unforgettable…

Irregular heartbeat.

16

To that dummy, I love you.

End of Chapter 5

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Edit: I uploaded this before realising my translations were being reposted by bots on other novel hosting websites thats why there was a delayed upload. Kinda shocked bcos i only started translating last night. I apologize let me know if the images are alright/can or cannot be seen. I know that this won’t actually stop bots from stealing content but I’m still figuring out how to work wordpress. Do let me know if you have any idea.

2nd edit: Its almost 2 am(tired and hungry) and I finally finished putting everything into images I know its probably useless but its the best I could do. Hope you guys on mobile can see(do tell me if it’s still difficult). I need to find a more efficient way of preventing content theft sighh

Anyways we’ve finally come to the end. Hope you guys enjoyed this short cute fluff. This is the end of my first translation project I must say the sense of accomplishment is pretty great but then looking my works on other websites, I finally understand translator feelings. Till the next novel~

TDWCTDC Chapter 4

You should be reading this at http://www.dummytranslations.wordpress.com

Carter raised two fingers: “I have two questions. “First, how do we explain this to the Elf King?”

Lay thought for a moment, “Just say I was taken away by a dragon.”

Carter nodded: “OK, I will use my magic to create an illusion of a dragon taking you away from your bedroom. So the second question is, how are you going to help me get Asa?”

Lay patted Carter on the shoulder: “If I remember correctly, Asa won the trophy for the finest warrior in the kingdom this year.”

Carter’s face was full of pride: “Yes, that’s my man.”

Lay smiled craftily. “My father will probably send him to the Lost Continent to save me, then you can find an excuse to keep up. On this road you two will be together every day, there will bound to be some opportunities.”

Carter mused: “Indeed, this long journey will allow us to encounter all sorts of dangers, but I have the confidence to completely protect him.”

From his pocket, Lay took out a small and light bag and happily said: “From here to the Lost Continent, it will take at least three months. Thus, food and various daily supplies will definitely become a problem. I will lend you my exclusive magic bag, inside is a dimensional channel to the Elven Palace, you can take whatever you need.”

Carter bluntly took the bag, the corner of his lips raised: “If my baby wants to eat, he better be prepared to kiss me.”

Lay smiled approvingly: “Carter, you shameless bastard.”

Carter waved his wand and open the space door once more: “You are not any better, your Highness.”

Lay let out a quick roar and prepared to charge into the space door but was stopped by Carter once more.

Carter reluctantly said: “Is your highness planning to go straight in and make love to him?”

Lay: “How could I? I will first go to his garden to pick a bouquet of flowers for him, and then recite a love poem to him.”

Carter handed him a book: “You have no style. This way, you’re throwing away our Elves’ face. I suggest your highness read this before doing anything.”

Lay flipped through the book leisurely, “Oh, my God, it’s obscene,”

Carter tooted: “Learn a few more postures, how is it dirty?”

Lay: “You’re right, I can’t embarrass the elves.”

Carter blinked: “Come on, Your Highness, now is just the right time. This little dragon has just grown up and will be seeking a mate.”

Lay was evidently excited: “Wow, I really don’t know much about the Dragon clan, how long will they be in the heat?”

Carter: “Once a year, for a year each time.”

[T/n: So like always?]

Lay: “…”

Carter shrugged: “The Dragon race is almost always in the heat. Their race is born like this–full of lust, constantly seeking love … So your Highness have to carefully look after your little dragon, don’t let others have an opportunity to snatch him away.”

Lay stepped into the space door with an “OK” sign: “We will definitely be very happy together.”

 

10

Carter told the whole story to Asa, as if it didn’t concern him.

Golan stared at Lay in shock and looked at Carter: “Oh my God, you two are bastards.”

Lay kissed his hair gently: “What’s wrong with this? You are just looking for a mate and I miraculously appeared on your bed at this moment, it must be fate.”

Golan huffed and rolled his eyes: “But I haven’t seen other dragons yet. If I hadn’t met you, perhaps I could have chosen a strong and powerful black fire-breathing dragon. Then, I can produce a black and white striped dragon egg, but it’s impossible now…”

As his expression sank, Lay threw Golan over his shoulder and entered the castle: “I am also very strong and powerful.”

Golan started crying and gave Lay kick: “But you can’t breathe fire!”

Lay: “But I can get you to spray water.”

Golan’s face reddened: “Shut up! You shut up!”

Asa gaped at the situation in front of him. Carter considerately closed the door for the Prince and the Little Dragon and then raised his head to gaze at Asa: “Do you still have anything to say?”

Asa wanted to collapse: “Can I use my fist to speak?”

Carter: “No. Are you angry?”

Asa was at a loss: “Nonsense! Of course I’ll be angry! Why did you have to cause so much trouble?”

Carter grabbed Asa’s collar and pressed his nose to the tip of Asa’s nose: “Because I fucking have a crush on you since I was 10 years old! The whole Elven kingdom knows! Except you, you stupid fool!”

Asa sucked in a cold breath but refused to be outdone by Carter. Hence, he pulled Carter’s collar: “You are stupid! I’ve been crushing on you since I was nine years old! Compared to you, I’m longer by a year!”

Carter: “Not really a year.”

Asa said resolutely: “It’s one more year. I started when I was nine years old but you only started at 10.”

Carter looked at him sarcastically: “That’s because you’re younger than me by a year you retard.”

Asa blinked: “Oh, that’s right.”

Carter: “… I actually wanted to push you against the wall then kiss you, but I suddenly don’t feel like anymore.”

Asa swallowed his saliva nervously and pushed Carter’s shoulder gingerly: “Then I’ll push you.”

Carter suddenly pressed Asa against the wall and kissed him roughly: “Dream on.”

Halfway through the kiss, Asa suddenly pushed Carter away. It dawned on him: “No wonder in the porn book you lent me, the protagonists’ names were Carter and Asa. I still thought that the author had no naming sense.”

Carter was angered by his idiocy: “I used my magic to replace the original names, I can’t believe you didn’t realize it!”

Asa blushed: “I … I did have a small suspicion.”

Carter sighed sadly: “The kingdom’s smartest mage actually fell in love with an idiot.”

 

End of Chapter 4

TDWCTDC Chapter 3

You should be reading this at http://www.dummytranslations.wordpress.com

Asa happily ate the dinner he used his charms to win over.

At last, the warrior and the mage made their way to the Dragon Castle at the end of the Lost Continent.

The Dragon Castle was located in a valley with clear streams and beautiful flowers. The Magnificent castle was built from large white stones that flashed brilliantly in the golden sunlight.

The two men stood at the castle gate.

Asa was overwhelmed and poked Carter: “Did you find the wrong one?”

Carter rolled his eyes: “I’m not you.”

Asa quietly kept his tomahawk: “This situation is not right. Originally I planned to use my axe to split the door open, but it’s a little embarrassing to do so now.”

Carter gave a cold humph.

Asa politely knocked on the door: “Hello, is the dragon at home?”

Carter looked at him like he was an idiot: “…”

Suddenly, the door of the castle opened. A fine and beautiful juvenile rushed into Asa’s arms, as if he had seen his savior, he shouted excitedly: “You are the Elven kingdom’s Warriors? Quick, save me!”

Asa gently took a step back and bowed:” Your Highness, please do not be alarmed, we will take you back to the Elven kingdom at once.”

Carter: “Are you an idiot, he’s not the prince.”

Asa rubbed his eyes: “He’s not? I also feel like he isn’t but I thought it was just my eyes that were bad.”

Carter turned to the naked boy: “Can you put your clothes on first?”

The young boy cried out tears of grievances: “He won’t let me wear.”

Asa said in indignation:” I understand. You were also captured by the Dragon, do not be afraid, we will bring down the dragon and rescue you and the prince.”

Young boy: “But, I am the dragon ah! Where am I evil, why do you want to attack me?”

Asa: “… Excuse me?”

Carter’s face was cold and did not show any surprise.

The young boy cried: “This dragon’s[1] heart is extremely bitter!”

[1] referring to himself

Asa turned to Carter: “Did he say he was the dragon?”

Carter: “en.”

Asa: “Why are you not surprise!”

Carter calmly said: “Wo-ow.”

The teenager suddenly threw another bomb: “Can you quickly take the Elf Prince away? He suddenly ran over to my castle and said that I kidnapped him!”

At this moment, a hand stretched out from behind and dragged the teenager into his bosom. The handsome face of the elf prince, Lay appeared from the shadows behind the door. He was somewhat annoyed as he wrapped a cloak around the juvenile’s body: “Golan, no one is allowed to see your body except me.”

Carter bowed to Lay, and said in a flat voice: “Your Highness, we have come to save you.”

“No need, go back,” Lay said.

Carter: “Okay.”

Lay: “Goodbye.”

Carter: “Goodbye, Your Highness.”

Lay was still holding the dragon boy as they walked back into the castle. Carter reached out his hand to help them close the door.

Golan was crying as he held onto Asa’s trousers and refused to let go: “Save me!”

Asa was holding his belt in case the trousers fell off and turned to Carter: “Just like this? Are you serious?”

Lay looked at Asa and turned back to Carter asking, “You two still aren’t together yet? So slow.”

Asa blushed: “What does he mean?”

Carter hooked up Asa’s chin: “Same thing, kiss me and I’ll tell you.”

Asa kissed Carter with well-practiced ease. This kiss was extremely familiar, obviously, something that had been practiced over time.

Carter patted Asa’s cheek with satisfaction: “Listen up, I’ll tell you what’s going on.”

 

08

Three months ago, the elf prince suddenly burst into the wizard tower, eyes sparkling: “Carter! I want to fall in love!”

Carter looked at him with disdain while quickly buttoning up his collar: “Sorry, my heart only has Asa.”

Lay also made a face of disgust: “I also do not have you in my heart, okay?”

Carter tried to push Lay out: “Alright, watch your step on the way out.”

Lay was holding the door frame tightly: “Wait! I want to borrow your mirror!”

Carter: “What’s in for me?”

“I’ll help you with Asa,” Lay narrowed his eyes with a sinister smile.

Carter nodded and ripped the black velvet cover off the mirror: “What does the Prince wish to know?”

There was a warm glow in Lay’s eyes: “What do you think?”

Carter stared at him with disdain for a moment then asked the Mirror: “Mirror, Mirror, tell me who is the most beautiful person in the world?”

“Not person, but man,” said Lay.

Carter: “Relax, this is a magic mirror. Even if you didn’t say anything, it can still detect your innermost desires.”

A silver dragon gradually appeared on the magic mirror. This little dragon was flying about a fine spring in the valley, playing very happily.

Carter was stunned: “Oh, my god, so this is the deepest desire of your Highness?”

Lay shook his head excitedly: “No no no, don’t look at me like that, in fact, I do not like the bestiality play, really do not like.”

Carter: “… Why do I feel that you actually really like it?”

Suddenly, the little dragon in the mirror transformed into a silver-haired young boy.

Carter breathed a sigh of relief: “So it’s like that.”

Lay’s inner wolf suddenly appeared: “Awuuwuuwuuwuu!”[2]

[2] 呜嗷嗷嗷嗷: whistling/cat-calling

Carter tried to stop him: “Your Highness, we elves are noble and graceful creatures, can you have a little self-control? You look like a werewolf now, and a balding one.”

Lay licked his lip: “hey, hey, fine.”

Carter sighed: “This is not any better.”

Lay’s surroundings suddenly turned rosy[3]: “I want him, I am madly in love with him!”

[3] like in anime The kind of background visual effect

Carter waved his wand. A space door appeared in front of the two people: “Your Highness, this space-time gate goes straight to the bedroom of the Dragon Castle.”

The prince, who has always been resolute immediately stepped one foot in: “OK, goodbye.”

Carter instantly removed the door: “Wait a minute, you can’t just go like this”

Lay rubbed his toes in pain: “Why did you have to close the door on my foot!”

 

End of Chapter 3

TDWCTDC Chapter 2

You should be reading this at http://www.dummytranslations.wordpress.com

Earlier, half of the two men’s rations were lost in the Wilderness and the rest was soon finished. Although there are many creatures in the swamp, many of them were poisonous and could not be eaten.

On the third day after finishing their rations, Asa laid weakly on the flying carpet, his belly grumbling. Meanwhile, Carter was extremely alert and vigilant towards his surroundings.

Asa: “I’m hungry… Going to die of hunger.”

Carter glanced at him and was about to speak when a large bird descended from the sky and dived towards Carter.

Asa roared: “Careful! I’ll protect you!”

Carter rushed forward to the monstrous Bird and waved his magic wand: “Petrification[1]!”

[1] 石化术 : Petrification magic.

The monstrous Bird suddenly turned into stone and fell heavily into the mire of swamps.

Asa gaped at the Stone bird and licked his lips: “Can you change it back from a stone?”

Carter: “Of course not.”

Asa almost cried out: “Such a large bird, it was enough for us to eat for several days, why did you turn it into stone?!”

Carter said coldly: “It attacked me and you didn’t help me.”

Asa waved his Tomahawk and shouted:” I am a melee attacker! I’m waiting for it to fly closer!”

Carter:” You can throw your axe and hit it.”

Asa wanted to collapse:” I am short-sighted! I can’t aim properly!”

Carter: “So I have to protect myself. By the time it comes down, my head would have already been gone.”

Asa: “Even so, you have fireballs! Frost Novas! Arcane missiles! So many spells, why did you have to use petrification!”

Carter shrugged: “The Petrification spell was the coolest.”

Asa: …

Carter ignored him. He took a piece of cloth from his magic backpack and laid it on the carpet, then one by one, he continued to take out a pot of coffee, steaming steak, fruit salad, cream soup, garlic bread, and shiny knives and forks …

Asa was shocked as if he had been petrified: “God, what are these?”

Carter told him: “Food.”

Asa’s stared at him until his eyes wanted to pop out: “Where did you get these from?!”

Carter pointed to his magic backpack: “I can use my power to open the backpack and take items from somewhere else. These foods are from our great Elf King’s table.”

Asa drew a cross in his heart: “You mage thief! So you’ve had food all these days, huh? No wonder you don’t look hungry at all!”

Carter squinted at him: “What are you unhappy about?”

Asa swallowed the saliva: “I’m not, give half of me.”

Carter: “Beg me.”

Asa: “I beg you, good Carter.”

Carter cut a piece of juicy beef: “Call me daddy.”

Asa struggled for a moment and cried: “Father!”

Carter shook his head: “not father, call daddy.”

Asa was so hungry that his eyes were suffused with a green light: “…Daddy.”

Carter sighed and pulled a steaming steak out of his magic backpack: “Asa, I’m disappointed in you.”

Asa burned with shame: “I know that I should not forsake dignity for food, but …”

Carter’s emerald eyes narrowed: “I treat you like a friend, but you see me as your daddy?”

Asa: …

Carter passed the steak: “Eat, my little baby, I’ve wanted to do this for a while.”

Asa gobbled the steak with indignation, eyes red. In his mind, he was already imagining Carter being pressed down on the ground until he cried for mercy.

 

06

Asa finally managed to have a full meal. However, by dinner time he was hungry again.

Asa rubbed his own  belly while complaining: “Too troublesome, eating, this kind of troublesome thing, actually have to be done three times a day!”

Carter calmly said: “No one is forcing you to eat three times, you can choose not to eat.”

Asa struggled to speak: ”… My point is, I’m hungry again.”

Carter: “So?”

Asa abandoned all his moral integrity: “Daddy, please open your magic backpack and give me some food.”

Carter shook his head: “I’m tired of hearing that already, I don’t feel any sense of accomplishment anymore.”

Asa jumped up in anger and almost fell off the carpet: “You’re tired of hearing it! Do you know how great the psychological barrier I’ve had to overcome! You’re tired of hearing it!”

Carter could not help laughing: “Calm down, Asa.”

Asa wanted to pull his hair out in irritation: “You bastard!”

Carter raised a finger and the magic carpet stopped. He jumped to the ground and walked to Asa’s side, saying, “If you kiss me, I’ll let you eat until you’re full tonight.”

Asa blushed, and stammered: “I, I … I don’t mind that.”

Carter tilted his head: “come on.”

Asa leaned over and trembled, kissing him lightly on his forehead: “Is this OK?”

Carter pointed to his lips and said, “here.”

Asa’s face turned redder, but he didn’t even hesitate and roughly lowered his head to kiss Carter’s lips.

At the end of the kiss, Carter touched his own lips, his leopard-like eyes staring at Asa fiercely: “You’re blushing, Asa.”

Asa was indignant: “you are also blushing, as red as a beetroot.”

Carter: “You look like Rotten Tomatoes.”

ASA: “You look like a baboon’s butt.”

Carter:” Do you still want to eat?”

ASA: “I said wrongly, I mean, I look like a baboon’s butt.”

Carter: “Clever boy.”

 

End of Chapter 2

 

TDWCTDC Chapter 1

You should be reading this at http://www.dummytranslations.wordpress.com

Something big has happened in the Elven kingdom.

The Elf Prince was abducted by the Dragon.

It was said that on the night of the incident, somebody saw a dark black dragon fly out from the Prince’s chamber, and lying in the dragon’s claws was the sleeping Prince.

This dragon lived in the Lost Continent of the Dragon Castle, together with the Elves kingdom between the countless mountains, rivers, and swamps. The angry Elf King sent the finest warrior of the kingdom, Asa, to save the prince.

Master Carter questioned the king’s decision: “Why did your Majesty send only one person?”

Elf King: “It is written in the history books that the finest warriors of the Kingdom defeated the Dragon with only a single man’s strength.”

Carter:  “But that fool Asa can’t even tell apart the North, South, East, and West.”

Asa was angry:  “Who did you say is a fool?!”

King of the Elves: “Can you tell apart North, South, East and West, Asa?”

Asa:  “I can’t tell.”

Elf King: …

Carter bowed gracefully, and asked, “Allow me to go with Asa, for I am the smartest mage in the kingdom. I can serve as Asa’s eyes, and when Asa is thirsty, I can draw a stream of spring with spells, and when Asa is cold, I will burn mana to keep him warm. When Asa is hungry, I can make bread and milk, and when Asa’s mounts are weary, I will take out my magic carpet to fly him, and I will be his most loyal companion and entourage.”

The Elf King was impatient: “Don’t talk nonsense, go quickly.”

So the Mage and the warrior set foot on the road to save the Prince and defeat the Dragon.

 

 

Asa and Carter each rode on a horse, galloping on the moorland.

Carter had a wand hanging from his waist, with bows and arrows on his saddle.

Every elf is born a natural marksman, even a weak and gentle mage knows how to kill an enemy with a bow and arrow, so every best warrior in the elves ‘ kingdom is at the same time the most powerful marksman.

Except Asa.

Carter, who manages the library tower, often lends the precious and limited porn books[1] he has in his possession to Asa, and Asa does not dare to read in the daytime. He can only wait until midnight to read, and over a long time, his myopia became more and more serious. He could no longer aim at his prey accurately and had no choice but to let the dwarf forging division help him tailor make two tomahawks, making him look extremely cool. Last year, in the Elves Kingdom Warrior tournament, all the Elves warriors either used bows and arrows or elegant swords. So when Asa swung around two of the dwarf’s tomahawk and rushed forward, everyone was stunned. Before, those that used battle axes were only targetting the clumsy, short dwarves. However, for Asa who is tall and agile, while using the tomahawk, it actually resulted in him getting the first place and the trophy for the kingdom’s strongest warrior.

[1] Little yellow book: Porn books

Hence Carter thinks that this is his own credit: “You see, if you did not read the small pornography book until you have myopia, how could you use the Tomahawk?”

Asa response to this was only two[2] word: “get lost.”

[2] was actually one word but yeah.

Carter: “Is the yellow book interesting?”

Asa: “Interesting, hehehe.”

 

 

 

 

In the wilderness, there are many gigantic and ferocious monster lizards.

The two men rode in the moorland for three days and three nights and were attacked by a large horde of thorny lizards as they were about to leave. The two men horses became food for the lizards. Asa only had enough time to rescue a portion of the dry food. Fortunately, the lizard group was busy devouring the horses’ meat and did not continue to chase the two people, allowing them to walk out of the wilderness, into the Witch Swamp.

While walking, Asa took the opportunity to boast to Carter about his heroic feat while he had fought against the monster in the wilderness

Asa: “if I hadn’t tried so hard to protect you, you would have become a monster’s shit by now.”

Carter shrugged: “maybe.”

Asa walked on the muddy and uneven ground of the witch’s swamp. Gritting his teeth, he looked at Carter who was leisurely and comfortably sitting on the magic carpet: “So this is how you repay your lifesaver?”

Carter remained expressionless: “It’s extremely regretful, but the flying carpet can only carry one person.”

Asa: “What did you say before to the His Majesty? When my mounts are tired, you will fly me on your magic carpet.”

Carter: “Your mount is not tired but dead.”

Asa shouted: “Are you playing word games with me? Sure enough, you wizards are a bunch of crafty liars!”

Carter pretended to be unhappy: “Forget it, in order to not to let you slander our innocent wizards’ name, I will give you a chance.”

Asa: “What?”

Carter: “I’ll give you a task. If you can fulfill it, I’ll give you my flying carpet.”

Asa was full of confidence: “Okay, tell me, what do you want me to do?”

The corner of Carter’s lips raised: “Dance for me.”

Asa: Excuse me???[3]

[3]In English.

Carter pretended to be unhappy: “striptease or pole dance, you can choose one. Don’t say I didn’t give you a choice.”

Asa roared: “Where do I find a pipe in the swamp?”

Carter’s face was still expressionless: “Oh, no.”

Asa: “So you want to see me strip?”

Carter raised his eyebrow: “Are you dancing or not? As soon as you dance, I’ll give my magic carpet to you right now, I swear.”

In reality, at this time Asa already did not care whether he got the magic carpet or not, but rather he would like to see Carter, that bastard walking on the muddy and slippery ground, awaiting his misfortune.

 

04

Hence, 10 minutes later.

Carter complained unhappily: “This is also called a striptease? You’re just taking your clothes off piece by piece.”

Asa’s face reddened and the sharp Elf’s ears were all red: I … I’ve been clapping my hands and shaking my hips a couple of times, can’t you see?

Carter waved his hand: “Forget it, I’m letting you off this time.”

Asa was taking great happiness in Carter’s misfortune, “Let me fly the carpet.”

Carter jumped off from the shabby carpet and took out a colorful new flying carpet from the magic backpack.

“ Light Carpet 2000, this year’s new model. According to the agreement, the old carpet I’ll give it to you.”

Asa was frozen for a moment before jumping up in anger: “… Wait a minute! Fuck you! Mages are all liars! Liars!”

End of chapter 1