Latest Updates

TDWCTDC Chapter 4

You should be reading this at http://www.dummytranslations.wordpress.com

Carter raised two fingers: “I have two questions. “First, how do we explain this to the Elf King?”

Lay thought for a moment, “Just say I was taken away by a dragon.”

Carter nodded: “OK, I will use my magic to create an illusion of a dragon taking you away from your bedroom. So the second question is, how are you going to help me get Asa?”

Lay patted Carter on the shoulder: “If I remember correctly, Asa won the trophy for the finest warrior in the kingdom this year.”

Carter’s face was full of pride: “Yes, that’s my man.”

Lay smiled craftily. “My father will probably send him to the Lost Continent to save me, then you can find an excuse to keep up. On this road you two will be together every day, there will bound to be some opportunities.”

Carter mused: “Indeed, this long journey will allow us to encounter all sorts of dangers, but I have the confidence to completely protect him.”

From his pocket, Lay took out a small and light bag and happily said: “From here to the Lost Continent, it will take at least three months. Thus, food and various daily supplies will definitely become a problem. I will lend you my exclusive magic bag, inside is a dimensional channel to the Elven Palace, you can take whatever you need.”

Carter bluntly took the bag, the corner of his lips raised: “If my baby wants to eat, he better be prepared to kiss me.”

Lay smiled approvingly: “Carter, you shameless bastard.”

Carter waved his wand and open the space door once more: “You are not any better, your Highness.”

Lay let out a quick roar and prepared to charge into the space door but was stopped by Carter once more.

Carter reluctantly said: “Is your highness planning to go straight in and make love to him?”

Lay: “How could I? I will first go to his garden to pick a bouquet of flowers for him, and then recite a love poem to him.”

Carter handed him a book: “You have no style. This way, you’re throwing away our Elves’ face. I suggest your highness read this before doing anything.”

Lay flipped through the book leisurely, “Oh, my God, it’s obscene,”

Carter tooted: “Learn a few more postures, how is it dirty?”

Lay: “You’re right, I can’t embarrass the elves.”

Carter blinked: “Come on, Your Highness, now is just the right time. This little dragon has just grown up and will be seeking a mate.”

Lay was evidently excited: “Wow, I really don’t know much about the Dragon clan, how long will they be in the heat?”

Carter: “Once a year, for a year each time.”

[T/n: So like always?]

Lay: “…”

Carter shrugged: “The Dragon race is almost always in the heat. Their race is born like this–full of lust, constantly seeking love … So your Highness have to carefully look after your little dragon, don’t let others have an opportunity to snatch him away.”

Lay stepped into the space door with an “OK” sign: “We will definitely be very happy together.”

 

10

Carter told the whole story to Asa, as if it didn’t concern him.

Golan stared at Lay in shock and looked at Carter: “Oh my God, you two are bastards.”

Lay kissed his hair gently: “What’s wrong with this? You are just looking for a mate and I miraculously appeared on your bed at this moment, it must be fate.”

Golan huffed and rolled his eyes: “But I haven’t seen other dragons yet. If I hadn’t met you, perhaps I could have chosen a strong and powerful black fire-breathing dragon. Then, I can produce a black and white striped dragon egg, but it’s impossible now…”

As his expression sank, Lay threw Golan over his shoulder and entered the castle: “I am also very strong and powerful.”

Golan started crying and gave Lay kick: “But you can’t breathe fire!”

Lay: “But I can get you to spray water.”

Golan’s face reddened: “Shut up! You shut up!”

Asa gaped at the situation in front of him. Carter considerately closed the door for the Prince and the Little Dragon and then raised his head to gaze at Asa: “Do you still have anything to say?”

Asa wanted to collapse: “Can I use my fist to speak?”

Carter: “No. Are you angry?”

Asa was at a loss: “Nonsense! Of course I’ll be angry! Why did you have to cause so much trouble?”

Carter grabbed Asa’s collar and pressed his nose to the tip of Asa’s nose: “Because I fucking have a crush on you since I was 10 years old! The whole Elven kingdom knows! Except you, you stupid fool!”

Asa sucked in a cold breath but refused to be outdone by Carter. Hence, he pulled Carter’s collar: “You are stupid! I’ve been crushing on you since I was nine years old! Compared to you, I’m longer by a year!”

Carter: “Not really a year.”

Asa said resolutely: “It’s one more year. I started when I was nine years old but you only started at 10.”

Carter looked at him sarcastically: “That’s because you’re younger than me by a year you retard.”

Asa blinked: “Oh, that’s right.”

Carter: “… I actually wanted to push you against the wall then kiss you, but I suddenly don’t feel like anymore.”

Asa swallowed his saliva nervously and pushed Carter’s shoulder gingerly: “Then I’ll push you.”

Carter suddenly pressed Asa against the wall and kissed him roughly: “Dream on.”

Halfway through the kiss, Asa suddenly pushed Carter away. It dawned on him: “No wonder in the porn book you lent me, the protagonists’ names were Carter and Asa. I still thought that the author had no naming sense.”

Carter was angered by his idiocy: “I used my magic to replace the original names, I can’t believe you didn’t realize it!”

Asa blushed: “I … I did have a small suspicion.”

Carter sighed sadly: “The kingdom’s smartest mage actually fell in love with an idiot.”

 

End of Chapter 4

Advertisements

TDWCTDC Chapter 3

You should be reading this at http://www.dummytranslations.wordpress.com

Asa happily ate the dinner he used his charms to win over.

At last, the warrior and the mage made their way to the Dragon Castle at the end of the Lost Continent.

The Dragon Castle was located in a valley with clear streams and beautiful flowers. The Magnificent castle was built from large white stones that flashed brilliantly in the golden sunlight.

The two men stood at the castle gate.

Asa was overwhelmed and poked Carter: “Did you find the wrong one?”

Carter rolled his eyes: “I’m not you.”

Asa quietly kept his tomahawk: “This situation is not right. Originally I planned to use my axe to split the door open, but it’s a little embarrassing to do so now.”

Carter gave a cold humph.

Asa politely knocked on the door: “Hello, is the dragon at home?”

Carter looked at him like he was an idiot: “…”

Suddenly, the door of the castle opened. A fine and beautiful juvenile rushed into Asa’s arms, as if he had seen his savior, he shouted excitedly: “You are the Elven kingdom’s Warriors? Quick, save me!”

Asa gently took a step back and bowed:” Your Highness, please do not be alarmed, we will take you back to the Elven kingdom at once.”

Carter: “Are you an idiot, he’s not the prince.”

Asa rubbed his eyes: “He’s not? I also feel like he isn’t but I thought it was just my eyes that were bad.”

Carter turned to the naked boy: “Can you put your clothes on first?”

The young boy cried out tears of grievances: “He won’t let me wear.”

Asa said in indignation:” I understand. You were also captured by the Dragon, do not be afraid, we will bring down the dragon and rescue you and the prince.”

Young boy: “But, I am the dragon ah! Where am I evil, why do you want to attack me?”

Asa: “… Excuse me?”

Carter’s face was cold and did not show any surprise.

The young boy cried: “This dragon’s[1] heart is extremely bitter!”

[1] referring to himself

Asa turned to Carter: “Did he say he was the dragon?”

Carter: “en.”

Asa: “Why are you not surprise!”

Carter calmly said: “Wo-ow.”

The teenager suddenly threw another bomb: “Can you quickly take the Elf Prince away? He suddenly ran over to my castle and said that I kidnapped him!”

At this moment, a hand stretched out from behind and dragged the teenager into his bosom. The handsome face of the elf prince, Lay appeared from the shadows behind the door. He was somewhat annoyed as he wrapped a cloak around the juvenile’s body: “Golan, no one is allowed to see your body except me.”

Carter bowed to Lay, and said in a flat voice: “Your Highness, we have come to save you.”

“No need, go back,” Lay said.

Carter: “Okay.”

Lay: “Goodbye.”

Carter: “Goodbye, Your Highness.”

Lay was still holding the dragon boy as they walked back into the castle. Carter reached out his hand to help them close the door.

Golan was crying as he held onto Asa’s trousers and refused to let go: “Save me!”

Asa was holding his belt in case the trousers fell off and turned to Carter: “Just like this? Are you serious?”

Lay looked at Asa and turned back to Carter asking, “You two still aren’t together yet? So slow.”

Asa blushed: “What does he mean?”

Carter hooked up Asa’s chin: “Same thing, kiss me and I’ll tell you.”

Asa kissed Carter with well-practiced ease. This kiss was extremely familiar, obviously, something that had been practiced over time.

Carter patted Asa’s cheek with satisfaction: “Listen up, I’ll tell you what’s going on.”

 

08

Three months ago, the elf prince suddenly burst into the wizard tower, eyes sparkling: “Carter! I want to fall in love!”

Carter looked at him with disdain while quickly buttoning up his collar: “Sorry, my heart only has Asa.”

Lay also made a face of disgust: “I also do not have you in my heart, okay?”

Carter tried to push Lay out: “Alright, watch your step on the way out.”

Lay was holding the door frame tightly: “Wait! I want to borrow your mirror!”

Carter: “What’s in for me?”

“I’ll help you with Asa,” Lay narrowed his eyes with a sinister smile.

Carter nodded and ripped the black velvet cover off the mirror: “What does the Prince wish to know?”

There was a warm glow in Lay’s eyes: “What do you think?”

Carter stared at him with disdain for a moment then asked the Mirror: “Mirror, Mirror, tell me who is the most beautiful person in the world?”

“Not person, but man,” said Lay.

Carter: “Relax, this is a magic mirror. Even if you didn’t say anything, it can still detect your innermost desires.”

A silver dragon gradually appeared on the magic mirror. This little dragon was flying about a fine spring in the valley, playing very happily.

Carter was stunned: “Oh, my god, so this is the deepest desire of your Highness?”

Lay shook his head excitedly: “No no no, don’t look at me like that, in fact, I do not like the bestiality play, really do not like.”

Carter: “… Why do I feel that you actually really like it?”

Suddenly, the little dragon in the mirror transformed into a silver-haired young boy.

Carter breathed a sigh of relief: “So it’s like that.”

Lay’s inner wolf suddenly appeared: “Awuuwuuwuuwuu!”[2]

[2] 呜嗷嗷嗷嗷: whistling/cat-calling

Carter tried to stop him: “Your Highness, we elves are noble and graceful creatures, can you have a little self-control? You look like a werewolf now, and a balding one.”

Lay licked his lip: “hey, hey, fine.”

Carter sighed: “This is not any better.”

Lay’s surroundings suddenly turned rosy[3]: “I want him, I am madly in love with him!”

[3] like in anime The kind of background visual effect

Carter waved his wand. A space door appeared in front of the two people: “Your Highness, this space-time gate goes straight to the bedroom of the Dragon Castle.”

The prince, who has always been resolute immediately stepped one foot in: “OK, goodbye.”

Carter instantly removed the door: “Wait a minute, you can’t just go like this”

Lay rubbed his toes in pain: “Why did you have to close the door on my foot!”

 

End of Chapter 3

TDWCTDC Chapter 2

You should be reading this at http://www.dummytranslations.wordpress.com

Earlier, half of the two men’s rations were lost in the Wilderness and the rest was soon finished. Although there are many creatures in the swamp, many of them were poisonous and could not be eaten.

On the third day after finishing their rations, Asa laid weakly on the flying carpet, his belly grumbling. Meanwhile, Carter was extremely alert and vigilant towards his surroundings.

Asa: “I’m hungry… Going to die of hunger.”

Carter glanced at him and was about to speak when a large bird descended from the sky and dived towards Carter.

Asa roared: “Careful! I’ll protect you!”

Carter rushed forward to the monstrous Bird and waved his magic wand: “Petrification[1]!”

[1] 石化术 : Petrification magic.

The monstrous Bird suddenly turned into stone and fell heavily into the mire of swamps.

Asa gaped at the Stone bird and licked his lips: “Can you change it back from a stone?”

Carter: “Of course not.”

Asa almost cried out: “Such a large bird, it was enough for us to eat for several days, why did you turn it into stone?!”

Carter said coldly: “It attacked me and you didn’t help me.”

Asa waved his Tomahawk and shouted:” I am a melee attacker! I’m waiting for it to fly closer!”

Carter:” You can throw your axe and hit it.”

Asa wanted to collapse:” I am short-sighted! I can’t aim properly!”

Carter: “So I have to protect myself. By the time it comes down, my head would have already been gone.”

Asa: “Even so, you have fireballs! Frost Novas! Arcane missiles! So many spells, why did you have to use petrification!”

Carter shrugged: “The Petrification spell was the coolest.”

Asa: …

Carter ignored him. He took a piece of cloth from his magic backpack and laid it on the carpet, then one by one, he continued to take out a pot of coffee, steaming steak, fruit salad, cream soup, garlic bread, and shiny knives and forks …

Asa was shocked as if he had been petrified: “God, what are these?”

Carter told him: “Food.”

Asa’s stared at him until his eyes wanted to pop out: “Where did you get these from?!”

Carter pointed to his magic backpack: “I can use my power to open the backpack and take items from somewhere else. These foods are from our great Elf King’s table.”

Asa drew a cross in his heart: “You mage thief! So you’ve had food all these days, huh? No wonder you don’t look hungry at all!”

Carter squinted at him: “What are you unhappy about?”

Asa swallowed the saliva: “I’m not, give half of me.”

Carter: “Beg me.”

Asa: “I beg you, good Carter.”

Carter cut a piece of juicy beef: “Call me daddy.”

Asa struggled for a moment and cried: “Father!”

Carter shook his head: “not father, call daddy.”

Asa was so hungry that his eyes were suffused with a green light: “…Daddy.”

Carter sighed and pulled a steaming steak out of his magic backpack: “Asa, I’m disappointed in you.”

Asa burned with shame: “I know that I should not forsake dignity for food, but …”

Carter’s emerald eyes narrowed: “I treat you like a friend, but you see me as your daddy?”

Asa: …

Carter passed the steak: “Eat, my little baby, I’ve wanted to do this for a while.”

Asa gobbled the steak with indignation, eyes red. In his mind, he was already imagining Carter being pressed down on the ground until he cried for mercy.

 

06

Asa finally managed to have a full meal. However, by dinner time he was hungry again.

Asa rubbed his own  belly while complaining: “Too troublesome, eating, this kind of troublesome thing, actually have to be done three times a day!”

Carter calmly said: “No one is forcing you to eat three times, you can choose not to eat.”

Asa struggled to speak: ”… My point is, I’m hungry again.”

Carter: “So?”

Asa abandoned all his moral integrity: “Daddy, please open your magic backpack and give me some food.”

Carter shook his head: “I’m tired of hearing that already, I don’t feel any sense of accomplishment anymore.”

Asa jumped up in anger and almost fell off the carpet: “You’re tired of hearing it! Do you know how great the psychological barrier I’ve had to overcome! You’re tired of hearing it!”

Carter could not help laughing: “Calm down, Asa.”

Asa wanted to pull his hair out in irritation: “You bastard!”

Carter raised a finger and the magic carpet stopped. He jumped to the ground and walked to Asa’s side, saying, “If you kiss me, I’ll let you eat until you’re full tonight.”

Asa blushed, and stammered: “I, I … I don’t mind that.”

Carter tilted his head: “come on.”

Asa leaned over and trembled, kissing him lightly on his forehead: “Is this OK?”

Carter pointed to his lips and said, “here.”

Asa’s face turned redder, but he didn’t even hesitate and roughly lowered his head to kiss Carter’s lips.

At the end of the kiss, Carter touched his own lips, his leopard-like eyes staring at Asa fiercely: “You’re blushing, Asa.”

Asa was indignant: “you are also blushing, as red as a beetroot.”

Carter: “You look like Rotten Tomatoes.”

ASA: “You look like a baboon’s butt.”

Carter:” Do you still want to eat?”

ASA: “I said wrongly, I mean, I look like a baboon’s butt.”

Carter: “Clever boy.”

 

End of Chapter 2

 

TDWCTDC Chapter 1

You should be reading this at http://www.dummytranslations.wordpress.com

Something big has happened in the Elven kingdom.

The Elf Prince was abducted by the Dragon.

It was said that on the night of the incident, somebody saw a dark black dragon fly out from the Prince’s chamber, and lying in the dragon’s claws was the sleeping Prince.

This dragon lived in the Lost Continent of the Dragon Castle, together with the Elves kingdom between the countless mountains, rivers, and swamps. The angry Elf King sent the finest warrior of the kingdom, Asa, to save the prince.

Master Carter questioned the king’s decision: “Why did your Majesty send only one person?”

Elf King: “It is written in the history books that the finest warriors of the Kingdom defeated the Dragon with only a single man’s strength.”

Carter:  “But that fool Asa can’t even tell apart the North, South, East, and West.”

Asa was angry:  “Who did you say is a fool?!”

King of the Elves: “Can you tell apart North, South, East and West, Asa?”

Asa:  “I can’t tell.”

Elf King: …

Carter bowed gracefully, and asked, “Allow me to go with Asa, for I am the smartest mage in the kingdom. I can serve as Asa’s eyes, and when Asa is thirsty, I can draw a stream of spring with spells, and when Asa is cold, I will burn mana to keep him warm. When Asa is hungry, I can make bread and milk, and when Asa’s mounts are weary, I will take out my magic carpet to fly him, and I will be his most loyal companion and entourage.”

The Elf King was impatient: “Don’t talk nonsense, go quickly.”

So the Mage and the warrior set foot on the road to save the Prince and defeat the Dragon.

 

 

Asa and Carter each rode on a horse, galloping on the moorland.

Carter had a wand hanging from his waist, with bows and arrows on his saddle.

Every elf is born a natural marksman, even a weak and gentle mage knows how to kill an enemy with a bow and arrow, so every best warrior in the elves ‘ kingdom is at the same time the most powerful marksman.

Except Asa.

Carter, who manages the library tower, often lends the precious and limited porn books[1] he has in his possession to Asa, and Asa does not dare to read in the daytime. He can only wait until midnight to read, and over a long time, his myopia became more and more serious. He could no longer aim at his prey accurately and had no choice but to let the dwarf forging division help him tailor make two tomahawks, making him look extremely cool. Last year, in the Elves Kingdom Warrior tournament, all the Elves warriors either used bows and arrows or elegant swords. So when Asa swung around two of the dwarf’s tomahawk and rushed forward, everyone was stunned. Before, those that used battle axes were only targetting the clumsy, short dwarves. However, for Asa who is tall and agile, while using the tomahawk, it actually resulted in him getting the first place and the trophy for the kingdom’s strongest warrior.

[1] Little yellow book: Porn books

Hence Carter thinks that this is his own credit: “You see, if you did not read the small pornography book until you have myopia, how could you use the Tomahawk?”

Asa response to this was only two[2] word: “get lost.”

[2] was actually one word but yeah.

Carter: “Is the yellow book interesting?”

Asa: “Interesting, hehehe.”

 

 

 

 

In the wilderness, there are many gigantic and ferocious monster lizards.

The two men rode in the moorland for three days and three nights and were attacked by a large horde of thorny lizards as they were about to leave. The two men horses became food for the lizards. Asa only had enough time to rescue a portion of the dry food. Fortunately, the lizard group was busy devouring the horses’ meat and did not continue to chase the two people, allowing them to walk out of the wilderness, into the Witch Swamp.

While walking, Asa took the opportunity to boast to Carter about his heroic feat while he had fought against the monster in the wilderness

Asa: “if I hadn’t tried so hard to protect you, you would have become a monster’s shit by now.”

Carter shrugged: “maybe.”

Asa walked on the muddy and uneven ground of the witch’s swamp. Gritting his teeth, he looked at Carter who was leisurely and comfortably sitting on the magic carpet: “So this is how you repay your lifesaver?”

Carter remained expressionless: “It’s extremely regretful, but the flying carpet can only carry one person.”

Asa: “What did you say before to the His Majesty? When my mounts are tired, you will fly me on your magic carpet.”

Carter: “Your mount is not tired but dead.”

Asa shouted: “Are you playing word games with me? Sure enough, you wizards are a bunch of crafty liars!”

Carter pretended to be unhappy: “Forget it, in order to not to let you slander our innocent wizards’ name, I will give you a chance.”

Asa: “What?”

Carter: “I’ll give you a task. If you can fulfill it, I’ll give you my flying carpet.”

Asa was full of confidence: “Okay, tell me, what do you want me to do?”

The corner of Carter’s lips raised: “Dance for me.”

Asa: Excuse me???[3]

[3]In English.

Carter pretended to be unhappy: “striptease or pole dance, you can choose one. Don’t say I didn’t give you a choice.”

Asa roared: “Where do I find a pipe in the swamp?”

Carter’s face was still expressionless: “Oh, no.”

Asa: “So you want to see me strip?”

Carter raised his eyebrow: “Are you dancing or not? As soon as you dance, I’ll give my magic carpet to you right now, I swear.”

In reality, at this time Asa already did not care whether he got the magic carpet or not, but rather he would like to see Carter, that bastard walking on the muddy and slippery ground, awaiting his misfortune.

 

04

Hence, 10 minutes later.

Carter complained unhappily: “This is also called a striptease? You’re just taking your clothes off piece by piece.”

Asa’s face reddened and the sharp Elf’s ears were all red: I … I’ve been clapping my hands and shaking my hips a couple of times, can’t you see?

Carter waved his hand: “Forget it, I’m letting you off this time.”

Asa was taking great happiness in Carter’s misfortune, “Let me fly the carpet.”

Carter jumped off from the shabby carpet and took out a colorful new flying carpet from the magic backpack.

“ Light Carpet 2000, this year’s new model. According to the agreement, the old carpet I’ll give it to you.”

Asa was frozen for a moment before jumping up in anger: “… Wait a minute! Fuck you! Mages are all liars! Liars!”

End of chapter 1

 

Translations

This is a new translator here ^^ no idea how to navigate wordpress tbh but I’ll figure out eventually. So I’ll be trying some translations from chinese –> english. Ofc I’ll use MTL but supplement it with my own knowledge on chinese. Although I’m not very brilliant at chinese, I still had 10 years of compulsory education so hehe probably enough.